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An Aunt, Not A Byrd: Mary E. Bauguess

Jason Duncan — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 01:35:01 GMT

It's always nice when you find something that you didn't know you had lost. And it's nice when you realize you have something that you didn't know you had. That happened yesterday when I realized I had misidentified an old picture that I had gotten a few years ago.

William McKinley Billings was an interesting man. He was born in 1848 and married Mary E. Byrd in 1868. Tthey lived in Lomax, south of Traphill in Wilkes Co. They had nine children together before she died in 1892. Three years later William remarried, and his second wife's name was Mary E. Bauguess. I've always thought it strange -- or at least ironic -- that both of his wives were named Mary E., with the "E." likely standing for Elizabeth for both of them.

William died in 1919 and his second wife outlived him by nearly 20 years. I have two pictures of William McKinley's second wife, but for some reason I always assumed it was Mary E. Byrd. Now I realize that she is actually Mary E. Bauguess, my great-great-grandfather's sister. When I compare her picture to pictures of her brothers, I see a resemblance. Now, if I could just find pictures of the other four siblings, I'd have the whole family! I'll keep looking.

My Mini Muppet Movie

Jason Duncan — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 01:06:19 GMT

Ten years ago I had plenty of time on my hands. I was trying to decide what to do with all this free time when the phone rang. As luck would have it, it was my good friend Garrison Keillor. After a brief chat of him asking me for story ideas for his next installment of The News On Lake Wobegon, I told him about my situation. He said, "Well, why don't you produce your own show?" I hadn't thought of that, so I asked him what kind of show. He said I should do a variety show similar to what he does on the radio. That sounded like a good idea.

Two days later, I call my good friend in the movie business, Frank Oz. I told him that I wanted to produce a variety show, and I asked if he could help me out. He thought for a minute and said he did in fact know of someone who could help. He would have someone call me in a few days. "Well, who is it?", I asked. He said only that this performer was short in stature, but big on personality. Great!

The next day the phone rang, and I immediately recognized a familiar voice. "Hi ho, Jason," he greeted me. "This is Kermit THE Frog, and I hear you want to make a movie." I was astonished that I was talking to this talented and world-renowned celebrity! We pitched a few ideas at each other, and eventually we had an idea for a short movie -- a sort of variety show starring some of Kermit's popular friends.

And so, here it is. Produced in 2001 on a shoestring budget, and making its national debut ten years later -- and in honor of the Muppets latest movie just released in theaters -- here is My Mini Muppet Movie.

View it on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfFtTyACbOs.

No More Number Two

Jason Duncan — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 01:46:47 GMT

The world is facing a serious crisis. The government doesn't have a solution, and as it turns out, evidence suggests that the government is actually responsible for creating this terrible dilemma facing each and every one of us -- especially all the little children.

Of course I'm talking about the impending shortage of helium, element #2 in the Periodic Table. The gas that gives flight to balloons of all shapes and sizes is expected to run out in 25 years. Why now? Apparently, during the Cold War, the US stockpiled huge amounts of helium to be used for rockets and missiles aimed at the Soviet Union and other bad guys. This storage facility continued to grow until it held over half the world's supply. Then, in 1996 Congress decided we shouldn't be in the helium storage business any longer and that we should sell all our helium at any cost. The goal was to sell exactly 5% every year until it was all gone in 2015.

This caused a surplus in the helium market and prices plunged to the point that helium was so cheap that no one tried to recycle it, contain it, or use it sparingly. Party balloons became so cheap that they were being used to move entire houses. Oh, how vain!

Today, as the Federal helium reserve north of Amarillo, TX, is nearly empty, the world's helium supply is nearly gone. Why can't we just get more of it? As it turns out, helium is obtained as a bi-product of natural gas extraction. It is formed over millions and billions of years as rock decays. Once we've used up all we have, I suppose we'll have to wait another billion years for another rock to decay. I hope somebody's got a deck of cards, because we're going to be waiting for a long long time.

Lots of important stuff uses helium like MRI scanners, blimps, rockets, and other scientific gadgets. In another 25 years, Snoopy won't be able to fly over Sunday Night Football games any more. He'll just have to buy a ticket like everyone else. His days of privilege are nearly over, and he'll soon be just like the rest of us: stuck on the ground and surrounded by only nitrogen, oxygen, 1% argon, and 0.03% other assorted gases and dust particles.

Say No To Gas And Go

Jason Duncan — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 01:40:12 GMT

Who is this man?

His face and his message greet us every time we stop at a NC gas pump. But this isn't simply a logo or a cartoon character. This is a real person who's somewhere out there, on the streets, along the highways protecting us. I wonder if he won the Highway Patrol lottery to become the face of the gas pump. Or, maybe he was the loser who drew the short straw and had to become the face of the gas pump.

Either way, he looks pretty tough, and I'm sure he has discouraged at least a few low-lifes who had considered doing the 'pump and run'. Then again, are there any gas stations out there that still allow you to pump before paying? I'm sure there's a few, but the new process of paying first has made him less relevant than he once was.

Maybe he's not even a real officer. Maybe he's a model who is posing as an officer. Or, as Jon Lovitz would say, "He's an Ac-Tor!" You know who would have made a great spokesman for the 'Fill Up and Pay Up' campaign? Mr. T. I can see him saying, "I pity the fool who doesn't pay for his gas." Or, how about Foghorn Leghorn: "I say, ya gotta pay for your gas or, or pay the consequences, son." Betty White would make a good ambassador because she's convincing at just about anything she does. Under a picture of her smiling face, the caption would simply read, "Pay".

If you ever do meet this guy, please don't be tempted to treat him like a celebrity. And whatever you do, don't ask for his autograph! He just might give it to you, in the form of an invitation to come visit him at work.

A Dime A Dozen And A Dollar

Jason Duncan — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 03:09:26 GMT

I was in the third grade when I realized I was special. I couldn't believe that I had overlooked this fact for so many years -- all nine of them! It was in the middle of class, but when I made this discovery I had to fight the urge to raise my hand and tell the teacher and all my classmates. But I didn't. I kept it to myself for a few minutes, and made sure I hadn't made a mistake. I double checked my spelling to make sure I hadn't somehow switched the letters. Nope. The data was in, and it was official: I was special.

It came to me while looking at a calendar that listed the months of the year. And that's it. It was just staring me in the face. The first six months of the year were nothing -- they were useless to me. The magic began with the month of July:

J uly
A ugust
S eptember
O ctober
N ovember
D ecember

The first letter of each month spelled my name! Wow! How amazing is that! Sure, there were other kids who were named after months like April, May, and June, but it took six consecutive months to make my name!

But it was the month of December that put me over the top. You see, the name "Jason" was as common in my class as "Jeeves" is for butlers. It was a dime a dozen. In fact, a whopping 10% of our class was named Jason. I shared this alphabetic peculiarity with 4 or 5 others. What made me extra special was that I was the only Jason whose last name started with a "D". And in a class full of Jasons, of course I always signed my assignments as "Jason D.". For centuries, my name had been plastered on calendars in every school, church, office building, and checkbook. And now that I knew this fact, I was determined that it would be a secret no more.

Eventually, I got up and showed the teacher what I had discovered. She said something like, "Oh, that's nice." So much for being special. Ever since, all my attempts to use this fact to gain fame and fortune have failed. I'm just like everybody else: my name and a dollar will get me a Bojangles iced tea.

Up, Up, And Gone Away

Jason Duncan — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 00:50:22 GMT

This is a sad day. The final space shuttle flight launched today, but that's nothing to be disappointed about. The shuttle marks 30 proud years -- out of a total of 50 years -- of manned space flight following the Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo missions. The sad part is that we have no manned program on the horizon to carry us forward.

Nothing captures the excitement, enthusiasm, and imagination of the nation collectively as much as the idea of sending a person into space. While politicians cite the cost of these programs, it's easy to forget the health benefits of giving the entire country something to rally behind. The pioneering effort that NASA exhibited a few decades ago could only help boost the nation's morale which in turn might just help the economy. I saw a statistic today that said the recent bank bailout exceeded the entire 50 year budget of NASA! Imagine the places we could go if only the dedication and leadership existed to do it.

Hopefully America's return to manned space flight -- and the day will come -- will take us to new places we've never been. Mars is always a popular option; and Jupiter's moon Europa is another good possibility. Lately there's been talk about landing an unmanned craft on a comet, but that doesn't exactly give me goosebumps. We need to start by returning to the moon for the first time since 1972, just to refresh our memory on how to land on something. After that, it's time to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before.

The Powers That Be (7): And The Heat Goes On

Jason Duncan — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 02:06:05 GMT

For the past 365 days I've logged the daily high and low temperatures and plotted it against my daily energy consumption. After much anticipation, the results are in: it costs more to run the heat pump or air conditioner than it does to NOT run the heat pump or air conditioner. If you're satisfied with that conclusion, you can stop reading. If you want to know the details, read on.

Below is a graph with 365 data points representing my energy consumption and the daily average temperature. I define the "average temperature" as the midpoint between the high and the low for the day.

While the "average temperature" is not a perfect measure of how hot or cold is was over the course of a day, it's a fairly predictable indicator of how much energy I'll use for the day. I'll consume the least amount of energy on a day when the average temperature is about 61 degrees (for example when the low is 50 degrees and the high is 72 degrees). On that day I would expect to use about 9 kwH, and a cost of about $0.10/kwH, that would cost me 90 cents.

On the hottest day in the summer I would likely use over 40 kwH for a daily cost of $4.00. On the other end of the curve, on the coldest winter day, I could use 70 kwH, costing $7.00. I'm surprised at how both sides of the curve have the same slope. I would have expected either cooling or heating to have a better efficiency than the other, but they're nearly the same. The only reason that winter costs are more than summer costs is because it often gets 35 degrees colder than ideal, while it rarely gets warmer than 20 degrees above ideal.

Now I'll draw some conclusions. My total energy consumption for the year was 9,010 kwH, or an average of 25 kwH/day. In the best weather conditions (i.e. when I don't run the heat pump or air conditioner), I still consume 9 kwH/day. Therefore, it's safe to deduce that 16 kwH (or, 64%) of my annual energy use is to heat or cool the house. Everything else that uses electricity -- TV, lights, computer, refrigerator, dishwasher, water heater, door bell -- accounts for only 36%.

I've never had a day where I used less than 7 kwH, even when I was out of town. Therefore, items such as TV, lights, and computer account for about 2 kwH (or, 8%) of my usage. Therefore, about 7 kwH (or, 27%) of my energy usage is for things that run all the time such as the refrigerator and water heater.

At 64% of my usage, the biggest opportunity I have for cutting energy costs is a more efficient HVAC system. That could mean anything from installing an 18 SEER system for thousands of dollars to planting a shade tree to keep the sun off the house in the summer. For now I'll do nothing except continue to document my usage.

If anyone has actually made it this far, I'll present two more graphs. One shows the correlation between my daily energy usage and the high temperature, and the other to the low temperature. The daily high temperature is a slightly better predictor of energy usage. It tracks more closely than the daily low temperature.

Or, you can always use these images as a pixelated version of a Rorschach Test.

Bacon Eggstravaganza

Jason Duncan — Thu, 26 May 2011 01:35:42 GMT

Driving home from work today, I was listening to NPR on the radio like I normally do that time of day. (It's really quite informative, and often entertaining. Those SNL parodies don't represent most of what they broadcast.) Anyway, they were introducing a story about the surplus of chicken legs in the marketplace (who knew?), when they played a clip from Tyson Chicken spokesman Craig Bacon. Yep, that's right: Mr. Bacon works at Tyson Chicken. If he'd fly to Bologna and buy some pepperoni, he'd be a walkin' talkin' Meat Lovers Pizza!

In a related story, -- and by "related", I mean an equally useless thought about food -- I've been noticing the expiration date on food in my refrigerator. No, I'm not talking about the actual dates that I discovered because that would be embarassing! I'm talking about the phrase "Use By Date". To me, that sounds needlessly ambiguous. It's as if you might have several "uses" for that container of potato salad. I don't. I only have one use and that is to EAT it! I think they should change it to "Eat By Date". Yep, there's no ambiguity there.

Do eggs ever go bad? My carton of eggs has a "Sell By Date". Well, the grocery store "sold" it to me last week. Does that mean I can wait to eat it until next year? I wouldn't think so, but what about next month? This "Sell By Date" seems useless. What does it matter if it sits in my refrigerator or the one at the grocery store? What really matters is the date that I eat it. And speaking of eggs, I wonder how Mr. Bacon likes his cooked. Here's a picture of Mr. Bacon from his LinkedIn page.

Ir-winning: Thomas Irwin (1818-1894)

Jason Duncan — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 00:37:00 GMT

Today when I got home and checked the mail, I found that a distant cousin had sent me an amazing picture of a distant uncle. Thomas Irwin (1818-1894) was the brother of my gggg-grandfather William Irwin. (I wrote about finding a picture of William Irwin back in January.) The Irwins lived in Alleghany Co, west of Sparta.

This picture of Thomas Irwin and his wife Lucinda Caudill may be the oldest picture I've ever seen of one of my ancestors. They were married in 1854 when he was 36 and she was 21. I believe this tin type photo may have been taken sometime between 1854 and 1861 when the Civil War started. In 1864, Thomas enlisted in the Senior Reserves and was likely stationed in Salisbury at the prison guarding Yankee prisoners.

Thomas and Lucinda had 7 children including a son Wiley P. Irwin, who himself had a son named Walter Monroe Irwin (1895-1952) who was an important figure in the community. Walter (shown at the right) spent several years teaching at various schools, co-owned the Irwin Brothers Barber Shop on Main Street in Sparta, and served as a policeman for two years in the early 1930s. In 1934 he was elected sheriff of Alleghany Co, serving until 1938. In 1939 he became a Deputy US Marshall stationed in Wilkesboro.

I like to think that my great-grandfather on another side of my family helped get him elected sheriff in 1934. A year earlier in 1933, Walter M. Irwin helped lead in the capture of Ransom Brooks and the "worst criminal gang in Alleghany". If it hadn't been for the criminal ways of my great-grandfather, maybe Walter Irwin wouldn't have gained the notoriety he needed to get elected.

Walter Irwin has several Irwin descendants in the Elkin area.

Animal Amalgamation

Jason Duncan — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 01:56:00 GMT

The word amalgamation is a strange word. It's one of those words you hear occasionally, but you might not be exactly sure what it means. As it turns out, it means combining multiple items into one form. But an idiom amalgamation is the combining of multiple expressions. On the other hand, an idiot amalgamation is the combining of multiple expressions incorrectly. For instance, take this sentence:

Changing a light bulb is as easy as falling off a log. Once you learn how to do it, you never forget how.

That reminds me of a story about a prospector in the Old West. I believe it took place in the Nebraska territory in the 1850s. The man's name was Ned Phoenix, and he was originally from Buffalo, NY. No one ever described Ned as an intelligent man. You might say he was slow as a snail or dumb as a dodo. After all, what would a prospector be doing in Nebraska? All the gold was in California!

Ned was generally a quiet man, sometimes as quiet as a mouse. You'd rarely find him monkeying around. In fact, back when he was only knee-high to a grasshopper, his boyhood friends would be having a whale of a good time. But Ned would stay clammed up and would hardly even speak. He had an older sister who acted like a mother hen and herded him along to school, church, and to work in the fields.

But that was nothing compared to his older brother Robin who was mean as a snake and treated him like a pack mule. Robin would get little Ned out of bed before the rooster crowed, and by nightfall he would be dog tired from a full day's work.

That early childhood experience made Ned a determined man. He could be as stubborn as a mule when he set his mind to something, and that's what brought him to Nebraska. Since prospectors in California were being shuttled in like a herd of cattle and their numbers were multiplying like rabbits, Ned decided to do something different. After fishing around for an answer, he decided he'd head north -- as the crow flies -- to Nebraska where he would have miles of countryside all to himself.

However, Ned wasn't having much luck. One day he was floundering about in a small creek when he saw something shiny. He picked it up and yelled, "Gold!" But after further examination, his heart sank when he realized it wasn't so. If someone had been near enough to hear him, they'd say he had cried wolf. On another day, poor Ned stumbled while overturning a rock, and he cried like a stuck pig when he fell into the water. As he stood up, his clothes were soaked, and he looked like a drowned rat.

A few months later, Ned's luck took a permanent turn for the better when he stuck his shovel in the ground and an oil geyser suddenly erupted before him. Ned was so happy that he started dancing like a cat on a hot tin roof. One might think he had ants in his pants. From that day on, Ned would be sitting in hog heaven, proud as a peacock, wealthier than he had ever dreamed.

This goes to show that even a blind squirrel catches the early bird's worm every once in a while.

Headline: Local Celebrity Hosts SNL

Jason Duncan — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 00:13:00 GMT

This is the second installment in my 47-part series titled: Getting To Know Famous People From Wilkes County. (Read the first installment here.) This week we get to know stand-up comedian Zach Galifianakis.

You know him from movies such as The Hangover and Dinner For Shmucks, and most recently as host of this weekend's Saturday Night Live. But, he was also born in Wilkes Co as suggested in a post on the Wilkes County Tourism twitter feed. He graduated from Wilkes Central High School.

You can read all about Zach on the web, but what about his Wilkes Co heritage? He born in 1969 to Harry Galifianakis and Mary Francis Cashion. While the Galifianakis family emigrated from Greece, the Cashions spent several generations in Wilkes. Mary Francis Cashion was the daughter of Paul L. Cashion who was born in Wilkes in 1916. Among many other things, he served a term as president of the North Wilkesboro Lions Club in the 1940s.

Paul was the son of Archie Andrew Cashion (1886-1969). He owned and operated a service station in North Wilkesboro and also served as the town's mayor at one point.

Archie was the son of John A. Cashion (1856-1934) who moved his family from Huntersville, NC, to Wilkes Co about 1900. Archie seems to have lived near Hopewell, VA, for a few years between 1915 and 1923. John A. Cashion (Zach's great-great-grandfather) was a prominent leader in North Wilkesboro. He was the first to buy a town lot in what would become the main part of the city. He was a construction supervisor at a tannery, and he also owned a grocery business.

An article in the Wilkes County Heritage Book, Volume 1 includes additional information on the family as well as a family picture (below) apparently taken in the early 1930s. The three men on the right represent Zach's great-grandfather Archie, grandfather Paul, and gg-grandfather John A. Cashion.

While it's hard to see through his bushy beard, you can see a slight resemblance between Zach and these older members of his family. His Wilkes County connection may be common knowledge, but it was news to me! I'll end this with a Zach Galifianakis quote to ponder: "At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?"

My Willard Scott Moment

Jason Duncan — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 02:39:00 GMT

I've reached a milestone.

This is the 100th post I've made since my first one on January 13, 2009. That's 100 posts in 26 months, or almost one every week. Most of them have been about completely unimportant, off-the-wall, random thoughts that are meant to be as non-controversial as possible. Every now and then I dive into something more serious, but I've tried to keep it light.

I'm starting to think I might run out of thoughts. My first few posts dealt with strange or curious commercials, but you can't make fun of commercials forever. They all have the same punch line: Who in their right mind would buy such a thing! It's funny once; witty the second time; but eventually it just gets old.

I've also written a lot about energy savings, mainly because I find it interesting. I like the challenge of understanding the sources of power consumption, but it's also really interesting to discover how people respond to the idea of becoming more energy independent and saving money. In my mind, a rational person would embrace these two greatly beneficial goals. But for some reason, not everyone does.

In 2012, the U.S. will start phasing out high wattage incandescent bulbs. On the one hand, people may see this as needless government meddling in a free market economy. I suppose it is. But why not do this on our own? Why fight it? I don't see any down side. Last year I wrote a note explaining how I'm saving $42 a year by switching to CFL bulbs. How is that a bad thing?

A week ago, the national news had a story about the coming demise of incandescents. One home owner was interviewed, and she said she was stocking up on bulbs before the government took them all away. She said when she flips the light switch, she wants light right away. Well, CFL bulbs do that! Sure, they reach full brightness after being on for 10 or 20 seconds, but it still puts out plenty of light to see where you're going. I guess some people are just stuck in their ways.

Speaking of things that are stuck and make your hands sticky, how about a Smucker's Birthday Wish to Lilian Davis of Cockeysville, MD! This young lady is celebrating her 100th birthday. How sweet it is!

Behind The News Desk

Jason Duncan — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 02:47:00 GMT

I wonder what it would be like to be in TV news.

On the one hand, a reporter is always on the go, always trying to be first on the scene with late breaking news. The excitement of sharing a story, live, surely creates an amazing adrenaline rush. And the thought of preparing a report that will make a difference in politics, culture, community, or entertainment must be an empowering experience.

On the other hand, have you seen how many local newscasts are on during the day? How many times do the anchors -- and often the reporters -- have to repeat the same story over and over? Most stations air local news for 2 hours in the morning, 30 minutes at noon, an hour and a half in the evening, and another 30 minutes at night. This is a minimum of 4.5 hours a day, and many stations have an hour more than that! Then, you add the fact that their "sister station" has an additional 10pm newscast, and you can easily be up to 6 hours a day.!

On days when there's a lot of news or inclement weather, there's a good bit of variety during these 6 hours. But when it's only an average -- or less than average -- news day, the anchors and reporters repeat the same stories every 30 minutes.

But it gets worse. What about the poor meteorologist? These days, the weather is repeated every 10 minutes. The first installment is a tease. "Well folks, it's cold outside. Stay tuned to see what tomorrow's weather has in store for us." Then, 10 minutes later he/she is back with the full weather. Another 10 minutes, and you see the 5-day forecast. Then the process is repeated -- often with a different meteorologist -- for the 5:30 news. Wash, rinse, repeat.

This isn't too bad for the viewer, because most people don't sit through every 30 minute cycle. I think it's interesting that the national news -- that is, all the news for the entire planet! -- can be covered in 30 minutes each evening, but the local guys spend over 2 hours in the evening and night to tell us what's happening across town. There's nothing wrong with that, but it is intriguing.

And speaking of intriguing news, did you hear about what the Statesville Walmart greeter did last night ? If there was any doubt, this is why we need local newscasts.

What's For Breakfast?

Jason Duncan — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 02:57:00 GMT

Why is it that certain foods are considered "breakfast foods"? At what point in history did bacon and eggs become associated with breakfast. Sure, you can have it for supper, but it's still considered a breakfast food.

I find it strange that lunch and supper are almost universally interchangeable. Whether it's a hamburger, a bowl of soup, or spaghetti, you won't be looked at strangely if you're eating it for lunch or supper. But, if someone saw you eating any of those for breakfast, they would ask, "Why are you eating that for breakfast?"

I thought it might be because people want something light early in the morning. But that doesn't work either. A big plate of biscuits and gravy with eggs and bacon or sausage isn't exactly light fare for a still sleepy stomach.

So why do we have "breakfast meals" and "other meals". Is this an American thing? I wonder what Asian or African or eastern European cultures do with breakfast. What did early American colonists eat for breakfast? Did the Knights of King Arthur's court fry up some ye olde sausage links as the sun awakened from it's nighttime slumber? How about in Biblical times; did they have one set of foods for early in the morning, and a different set of foods for the rest of the day?

After a two minute google search, I didn't find the answer. That's because it's not a black and white question. Of course people have been eating breakfast ever since they started getting hungry after waking up. My question is why breakfast foods are generally different than other meals. And that's still a mystery to me. Another mystery is why Middle Earth gets to have Second Breakfast, when we only get to have one! That's just not fair.

February Frivolity

Jason Duncan — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 01:31:00 GMT

It's been almost three weeks since my last note, but sometimes you just don't have anything to say. And to be honest, today is no different, but there are a few odds and ends I can ramble about.

Since I last wrote, we've had a Super Bowl. Who won? Oh yeah, it was Green Bay. It usually takes at least a month before we forget who won, so ask me again on St. Patrick's Day. There were a few good commercials during the game, but none that were absolutely amazing. I liked the Little Darth Vader commercial, but then again, I like anything with a Star Wars theme.

What's new in the world of TV channels? Well, WCCB-18 in Charlotte was supposed to start carrying the ME-TV network on February 1 on their subchannel 18-3. However, just hours before they were supposed to flip the switch, they ran into some kind of problem. Nothing official has been stated, but the rumors are that there are contractual issues involving other local Charlotte stations which have syndication rights to some of the old shows that air on the ME-TV network. Hopefully they'll get that worked out soon.

In news that probably only interests me, I found my gggg-grandfather last weekend by accident. Last month I posted a note -- and a picture -- about my Alleghany County ancestor Bill Irwin who was born in 1819 and died in 1906. I knew about where he lived, but in 20 years of research I had never found his headstone. Last weekend I met some distant cousins who said I might want to check out a cemetery "down at the end of the road". After a short hike halfway up the mountain, there it was. After searching the old deeds, I learned that he owned at least 350 acres, with the cemetery located near the center. It's a coincidence that I would find his picture and his headstone in separate searches within the span of only a few weeks.

Finally, to quote the great philosopher George Costanza, "Onward and upward".

Spoof of Black Eyed Peas "I've Got A Feeling"

Jason Duncan — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 05:14:00 GMT

This is my version of the Black Eyed Peas song I've Got A Feeling. My song is titled You Hurt My Feelings. Click the link below.

You Hurt My Feelings (mp3)

Bill Irwin (1819-1906)

Jason Duncan — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 03:36:00 GMT

You never know what you'll find at the library. Today I was looking through a book on Alleghany Co families and found this picture of my great-great-great-great-grandfather William (Bill) Irwin. I've never seen him until now! (More below the picture.)

This picture was taken in 1898, and Bill Irwin is seated in the middle. His son-in-law's parents (I think) are seated to the right. On the left is Squire Jackson Irwin and his wife Caroline. All those in the back are children or grandchildren of those in the front.

Bill Irwin was born in 1819 in either Wilkes or Ashe Co. In 1830 his family was listed in the Pine Swamp area of Ashe Co, but this would become Alleghany Co in 1859. He married Nancy Andrews in the early 1840s, and they would have six children.

On 7/13/1864, Bill was 44 years old, and too old to enlist in the standard Confederate Army. However, he wasn't too old to join Co B, 5th NC Senior Reserves. I believe this was a sort of Home Guard, but this regiment may have spent time guarding prisoners at the Confederate Prison in Salisbury. At enlistment, Bill Irwin was described as six feet tall, dark complexion and hair, with brown eyes. He was AWOL on 2/28/1865.

Forty years later (and seven years after this picture) he applied for his Civil War pension when he was in his mid 80s. The more disabled a veteran was, the higher the monthly benefit he would expect to get from the government. The physician reported that he "has broken leg, senile(?) ulcers, and general dibility; is totally disabled to perform manual labor; not being able to wait on himself". I hope Grandpa Bill got a good paycheck with a checkup like that!

He died the following year in 1906 at the age of 87 and was buried in the family cemetery in Alleghany Co.

A-FLOCK-alypse Now

Jason Duncan — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 21:41:00 GMT

Everyone enjoys a good joke, a gentle ribbing, a harmless prank. But, my goodness: enough is enough!

Every day I scan the headlines and there's another story about dead birds, fish, and even crabs. I mean, who's running this planet? Is it Mother Nature or M. Night Shyamalan? Here's a partial list of events that have occurred over the past two weeks.

12/30/10: 100,000 fish wash up along the Arkansas River
12/30/10: 100 tons of dead fish, sardines, catfish wash up in Rio De Janerio
12/31/10: 1000s of dead red wing black birds found in Arkansas

1/1/11: 100s of dead birds in Kentucky
1/4/11: 500 dead red wing black birds found in Louisiana
1/4/11: 100s of dead fish wash ashore in Ontario

1/4/11: 1000s of dead fish found in a creek in Florida
1/5/11: 2 million dead fish found in the Chesapeake Bay
1/5/11: 200 dead birds found in Texas

1/5/11: 150 dead birds found in Tennessee (at what other time would this seem like a small number?)
1/5/11: 100 dead crows found on the street in Sweden
1/5/11: 40,000 dead crabs washed ashore in England

1/5/11: 100s of red snapper found dead in New Zealand
1/6/11: 1000s of gizzard shad (a 4" long fish) found dead in Lake Michigan near Chicago
1/8/11: Dozens of starlings (birds) were found dead in Romania

Check out a map of these events here. Theories abound including everything from fireworks to sonic booms to some kind of virus. But the best explanation I've heard is regarding the starlings that were found dead in Romania. They say that the birds drank themselves to death. Apparently the villagers in one town forgot to clean up after their annual wine-making event. The birds ate the leftover grapes, and their drinking binge went a-fowl. I guess this is the story you get when you combine Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath with Richard Bach's Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Maybe they should call it The Grapes of Wrath and Destruction!

You Heard It Here First: My Ted Williams Prediction!

Jason Duncan — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 00:58:00 GMT

That's right! Back in August of 2009, I posted a Note here titled "Who Said That, And Why?" stating that I had just learned Michael Douglas was the announcer for NBC Nightly News. I commented:

"what about all the other actors and voiceover people out there who have great voices but are desperate for work? Michael Douglas took a potential job away from someone who needed it more, and probably deserved it more."

And now the truth has become reality. In just a few days, the Ted Williams story has become such an amazing set of circumstances that every media outlet in the country can't wait to get their hands on him. Now, this man that was homeless on Monday has more job offers than he can keep track of on Thursday. And as if the story couldn't get any more perfect, today he met his 90 year old mother for the first time in twenty years!

Here are just some of the job offers he's had:

Cleveland Cavaliers arena announcer: a salary and a house
Ohio Credit Union League: already gave him $10,000 cash with more to come
ESPN
MTV reality series
Hilo, Hawaii will give him a vacation there for him to do voiceover work for them
The Simpsons are interested in using his voice
Entertainment Tonight has expressed interest

Also, with Robert Gibbs' announcement today that he will retire from his position as Press Secretary, the White House has expressed interest in offering this high-profile job to Ted Williams. OK, I made that one up. Incidentally, am I the only one who thinks Ted Williams slightly resembles President Obama? Surely I'm not the only one!

With all these interviews, talk shows, radio and TV gigs, and other appearances, he had better be careful not to get laryngitis! Man, wouldn't that be the pits. Somebody by him a pack of lozenges, please! America's new national hero is just one head cold away from ruining our feel good story of the year.

My New Year's Revelations

Jason Duncan — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 02:35:00 GMT

Today, a new year is upon us. It's a time to reflect on where we've been, where we are, and where we're going.

It's a time to take stock of all the wonderful things we have in life, and to finally clean out the refrigerator and throw away that bean dip left over from our July 4th picnic. Ahhh, that was some picnic, too. It isn't every year when uncle Harold decides to go skinny dipping in the park's city pool. Well, let's be honest, he wasn't exactly skinny dipping -- he was still wearing his black socks. Isn't life precious?!

It's a time to appreciate all the freedoms we enjoy in this great country, unless you're a Hilton, a Spears, or a Lohan in which case you've enjoyed your freedoms a bit too much. They enjoyed their freedoms so much that now they don't have as many as they used to. Of course, the rest of us rarely have the freedom to say "I'm sorry, Your Honor," and have it recorded by a court stenographer.

It's a time to follow our dreams and let them take us to new places. My dream is to have my very own Holodeck where I can stroll the streets of Tatooine with my friend Luke or explore ancient ruins with college history professor Dr. Jones. What, too far fetched? OK, maybe I should set my sites on something more realistic like having Scarlett Johansson call me on the phone -- just to say, "Hi". She's single now! (Scarlett, my number's in the book.)

It's a time to make resolutions for things we want to change in our lives. For many environmentalists, that means conserving water by showering less and using more deodorant. For the risk-takers among us, that means being more polite to the policeman that pulled us over for speeding by asking him if he knows where we can find a good jelly doughnut.

Happy New Year, America!