
This evening I did something I rarely ever do. I gave money to a stranger who said he needed it to get home.
I'm always skeptical of people asking for money. I figure there's a good chance they'll just use the money to buy beer, and then they're no better off than before.
This guy caught me as I was returning my cart in the Walmart parking lot. Actually, we crossed paths and I politely said "Hey, how are you doing?" He nodded his head, took a few more steps, then turned back toward me and said "It's been a hot day, hasn't it?" I agreed, and we had another exchange about the weather and then he asked if I lived near here. I said I did and then he started his story.
I immediately turned on my panhandler defenses because I knew it had started. As part of my process of sizing him up, I lose the focus of the story he's telling me. I heard something about him on his way to Asheville, something about his mother, and something about throat cancer. The gas light of his car had come on and he knew he couldn't make it to Asheville. He had $1 in his wallet and no debit card. He showed me his wallet and offered to show me his gas light.
I was
this close to saying, "Sorry, buddy. I can't help you," and walking away. But he said repeatedly that he wasn't a panhandler and he just needed gas money. Although he was missing a few teeth, he was dressed neatly and his car looked fine, too. I first pulled out $5, then he reminded me that he had 120 miles to go. In a moment of weakness, I gave him $20. He said more than once that he'd mail it back to me. In the instant I had to make a decision, I weighed my options. If he really needed the money, he didn't need to pay me back and I was glad to help. If he was lying to me, I didn't want him to have my address at all. I told him good luck, and he said, "God Bless", and we parted ways.
As I took the first step back to my truck, I decided he had lied to me. What are the odds that his sickly mother was 120 miles away, he had been unsuccessful at trying to call his wife, and he had a completely empty wallet? If he was going to ask me for money, why did he start by talking about the weather? Why did he ask if I was from near here? Why was that important?
I'm a curious person and I wanted answers. So of course I followed him.
I let him get slightly ahead, hoping that he wouldn't see me. But the fact that I was right behind him at the first stop light, means he might have. To my delight, he did in fact pull in to the first gas station. I didn't pull in behind him, and I didn't see him start to pump gas because I had to keep driving. I made the first U-turn I could, and after catching a stop light I passed back by the gas station. I didn't see his car. I thought surely he didn't have time to get gas, go in to pay, and sneak past me. Was it all a ruse? Had he just pulled in long enough for me to pass by, and then made his escape?
I'm a curious person and I wanted more answers.
I made another U-turn and pulled into the gas station. I didn't see his car. Could he be behind the gas station? There's no pumps behind the building and it's only used for deliveries, and it's hidden from view. Thankfully for my safety, he wasn't hiding back there. I continued back out to the pumps along the other side of the building and there he was! He was laughing with someone. Could that be his friend or just some other stranger that he said hello to? I didn't get a good look because I wanted to avoid eye contact at all cost. He was only 10 feet away!
I had to wait for traffic to clear before I could leave the gas station, but I wasn't through yet. I drove to a spot only a few hundred yards away on a hill where I could see the on ramp to westbound I-40. If he was headed to Asheville, he would be passing by in less than a minute or two. To my surprise, I saw him drive by toward Asheville lending credibility to his story.
While I'm still curious about whether he was honest, I resisted the temptation to follow him to Asheville. Besides, I had a gallon of milk that needed to get in the refrigerator. I'm split about 50/50 that he was telling the truth. When I saw him at the gas station, was he joking with his buddy that another idiot fell for his sad story? If I had been thinking a little more clearly, I would have followed him to the gas station and paid for the gas myself. I would have asked where he was from, and then looked at his license to verify it. I could have offered to try and call his wife again for him.
I don't know how I might handle it differently next time. It seems like they always catch you when you least expect it. Hopefully, he's on his way to Asheville, and I did my good deed for the day. If not, at least I hope he gets good and drunk tonight with my $20.